My baby. I can not believe in just a few hours you will officially be my one year old baby. It is already your birth day. But I’m just not ready to have the clocks turn completely. It’s funny because a year ago today I was so eager for the time to go by quickly so I could finally have you in my arms. And now…I just want to slow it all down.
I am so thankful.
You are my heart. You make everything better. You make me better. You make me smile. You make my heartache because there is so much love I have for you that it just feels like it’s exploding with happiness.
Since the day I met you, you’ve always greeted me with those big beautiful, innocent eyes. You smiled within the first few days. You held my finger as soon as you were in my arms. You hardly cried. You stretched like you woke up from the biggest nap, every time you napped. Your eyelashes just danced on your face.
When I met you I felt like I knew you. As I spent every moment with you, you continued to be a part of me. An extension of me that was hiding for the past 30 years but fit like it had always been there. You did new things every day and although you were already a part of me, I was learning so much. You were showing me different parts of your unique personality all the time.
Some days, it feels like I’m rewatching a favorite TV show that I’ve seen a gazillion times but no matter how many times you’ve seen it, no matter how well you know the characters and the storyline, it always feels new and refreshing. Eat, Play, Sleep and Repeat. Although we did a lot of this, there was something magical about it each time. Whether it was the first time you gazed into my eyes, or the first time you made those first coo’s and ooo’s, you always had me captivated.
When I look back at the year through pictures, videos and my memory, I see that so much of your current personality developments were also very much present in your early days. But during those days they were isolated things you did, but when you piece all of those together, moment-by-moment, day-by-day, milestone-by-milestone they all fit together and culminate into who you are today.
Today, I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me the chance to have such a revered title of a mother. And more importantly, thank you for being our baby. You have blessed our homes and our lives. You have taught me to slow down. You have taught me to be patient. You have given me a chance to look at the world with no filter. Through your innocent eyes I see the world with a new found appreciation.
I wish you could see it through my eyes but I’m sure when you are a Father one day (a long time from now), you too will see it with a similar sentiment.
When you first entered this world you were in a hospital room which had many people in it. There were bright lights (unfortunately). There was a lot of chatter. It was cold. This was all so foreign to you. You closed your eyes and curled into my arms to seek warmth, shelter, and some peace. When you received your first shot in the hospital, you winced at this new form of pain. When we brought you home, you stared at the new environment. When you took your first shower you were in awe of the water falling from above. You stared at your tiny little hands as water sprinkled down. Taking you out for the first time was so overwhelming for us. I can’t even imagine how strange it must have been for you. New smells, new people, new sounds and so much to look at. I tried to put myself in your shoes, and through your journey. I would imagine myself waking up from a deep, warm and cozy sleep and being in a room full loud people, loud music, bright lights, and having someone pet me or touch me every few minutes. That would be so annoying. We really tried our best to keep you away from such uncomfortable environments. You were warm, safe and cozy for 9 months, there was no way we could expect you to suddenly be exposed to all of that in a matter of days or even weeks. I very much imagined it being like a very very bad case of jetlag. A lot of planning, a lot of anticipation, a long journey, a lot of traveling to get to the new land and then you just need some time to get acclimated.
I hope this place on earth is now feeling more and more like home to you. We’ve been here for so long and we feel like we’re still learning so much about the world around us. And that is what this lifetime is about. Taking the time to see what is around us, appreciate it’s beauty, respect it and give back more than it’s given us.
I pray that we are able to be the parents you deserve. I pray that we are able to guide you and provide you with everything you need to be the kindest, most honest, most thankful and respected human. We are always here with you, to guide you, to support you and experience life with you.
In a few hours, you will officially be the big ONE. My big little boy. On your first birthday, I wish the world for you. I pray God gives us the strength to be the best parents we can for you. I pray your every wish is one with good motives and a fruitful outcome. I pray you live a life that is one you look back at and smile about. I pray that you stay forever young…
I love you S. I thank Bhagvan every moment I get for bringing you into our lives. You mean the world to me. And I am so so so proud and honored to be your Mummie.